a poem

I want to take my love
my resent
my hate
and scream it in your face
like ghetto blasting through dark alleys
at 2am
dark and high
because Ive played it safe for too long

and despite it all
she said
everything was fine
but fines not enough when youre falling too fast for the wind to keep up

tie your shoes kid
they're bound to fall off
mind your cues kid
know when to step off

I tried to love you
but I couldnt hop on
the games gotten too tame
like benadryls gonna stop my cough
and tylenol is gonna stop my pain

substitute caffeine with cocaine
tryptophan for heroin
because chivalrys not
but recognition is dead

like punk rock
like hip hop
and talk radio
my lonely friends

wolf in sheeps clothing
pulled wool over my eyes
told me love was alive
turns out it was lies

so Im humming the blues
because I know those are true

like letters
twenty six depends on how you
cut it like grass
hundreds of blades slicing atmosphere
in perpetual motion like dust
millions of particles
floating through my room like thoughs

and I cant even count the thoughts

so she mustve been right
and here Im inadequate
but I know she was wrong
so here Ill take a stab at it

night after night
she sits
waiting
not that she knows it
too drunk to stumble up the stiars
but its the kind of block
where nobody cares
so she waits
knows damn well that soon Ill come outside
to smoke some fresh air

before I know
Im on the porch
fingers running through my hair
and thats love
boiled down to its simplest form
and thats how I want it
RAW

so I wrote a poem in pink
used words nice and gentle
swore that I loved her
mustve been mental
or my mistake might have been
loving prose more than her
when she hadnt a fuck to give
for love not bought from a store
and blamed it on me
for loving her
poor

so Im alone
on the edge of midnight and sanity
waiting on the galaxy
to spit something back at me

anything at all
except for the apathy
thats brought on
by intangible energy
or maybe its the coctail
of blunt smoke and dramamine
I never held this over her head
but I'm about to tonight

so

lets go back in time
she can save her own damn life.

-apex.